Therapy for Fathers
Becoming a father changes you. Not just your schedule — your nervous system
It wasn’t supposed to be like this…
You planned to parent differently.
And here you are at the end of your rope.
Nobody hands you a map for this. One day you're a person with a life you mostly recognize, and the next you're responsible for a small, entirely dependent human — and something in you shows up that you hadn’t signed up to deal with. Old patterns surface. Old wounds get poked. Parts of you show up that you haven't seen since you were a kid yourself.
Now you feel more anxious, more irritable, more disconnected from any sense of who you are. It’s perpetual overwhelm and constant crisis management. And you still have to go to work and the dishes still have to get done.
A Little About Me
I help people heal the patterns that have kept them stuck for decades.
You are probably exhausted from all the work you are doing to manage your symptoms, your emotions, and your life. You are ready to go deeper, to heal in a lasting way. I’m ready to go there with you.
My approach is to guide you inwards to work with all the different parts of you that need healing. Becoming a dad has been intense and overwhelming for me too. I want to give you the support I wish I had.
Maybe you have experienced:
- A short fuse you don't recognize in yourself
- Numbness or distance where you expected to feel bonded
- Anxiety that spikes around your child's safety or your own competence
- Old grief about your own childhood, sometimes out of nowhere
- Pressure to be the strong, unbothered one — while quietly struggling
- Tension in your relationship as roles and expectations shift
- A sense that you're either repeating your father's patterns or overcorrecting so hard you've lost yourself
This isn't a personal failing. It's what happens when the parts of you that hold your earliest attachment experiences get activated by parenting your own child. Naming that — and working with it directly — is the fastest way through it.
You can show up as the solid, caring father that you want to be.
How I Work With Fathers
- Processing the identity shift into fatherhood
- Understanding and interrupting patterns inherited from your own father
- Managing anxiety, anger, or numbness that surfaced after becoming a dad
- Navigating relationship strain with a partner during the transition
- Making sense of paternal postpartum depression or anxiety — which is real, underdiscussed, and treatable
- Reconnecting with parts of yourself that feel like they got lost in the transition
- Building the kind of internal steadiness you actually want to bring to your kid
FAQs
Is postpartum depression something fathers experience too?
Yes. Men can experience postpartum depression and anxiety after the birth of a child, though it's often under-recognized and under-discussed compared to postpartum experiences in mothers.
What are signs a new father might be struggling emotionally?
Common signs include irritability, withdrawal from family or partner, increased conflict at home, loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities, and a persistent sense of being overwhelmed or inadequate.
Why might fathers be less likely to seek therapy?
Cultural expectations around strength and self-reliance often make it harder for men to acknowledge struggle or ask for help, even when the need is real.
How does becoming a father affect a man's identity?
The transition into fatherhood often brings significant shifts in identity, purpose, and relationships, which can surface unresolved patterns from a man's own upbringing or sense of self.
Can therapy help with the relationship strain that comes after having a baby?
Yes. Therapy can help address the relationship and communication strain that often accompanies the transition to parenthood, even when the work is done individually rather than as a couple.
Do you draw on your own experience as a father in this work?
Yes. This work is informed by personal experience navigating fatherhood, alongside clinical training in attachment and family systems.
Is this therapy only for new fathers, or also for men with older children?
This work applies to fathers at any stage, from the transition into new fatherhood through ongoing challenges of parenting older children.
Is this therapy available via telehealth?
Yes. Sessions are available via secure telehealth to fathers anywhere in Vermont, as well as in-person in Montpelier.
What approach do you use in working with fathers?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is the primary framework, helping fathers understand the protective patterns and old wounds that can get triggered by the demands of parenting.
Can this help if I feel disconnected from my child or partner?
Yes. Feeling disconnected is a common and treatable experience; therapy can help identify what's underneath that disconnection and rebuild a sense of presence and connection.